Archive for February 2006
On being bipolar
Originally published in the Mail & Guardian, 28 July 2005, under the (somewhat misleading) title ‘Mindful of Mania’
To have the levels of carbamazepine in my body tested, I caught the train from Muizenberg to Fish Hoek at 5pm today, and walked a kilometre to have blood taken. It’s not a walk that would usually tire me, but today it’s exhausting. The lab office should be open till 5.30pm, but it’s closed and dark. I experience a surge of rage, imagine smashing the darkened windows. It would be a relief to give in to my ungovernable emotions, to finally ‘prove’ that my appearance of coping is practised acting.
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